I met a lot of guys here and made friends with most of them. The majority were young guys, some at least a dozen years younger than me. I was an old broad when I joined up. I don't know why, maybe they were just lonely but a few imagined they were in love with me. They weren't of course. Some were funny and cute but I wasn't looking for even a flirtatious bit of fun. I would calmly tell them they were wrong and steer them towards younger girls who wanted that kind of lightness.
One was Tim.
He would have been a great little brother. On the way back from the bus stop one afternoon he grabbed me and hugged me and said, "Will you marry me and come home and take care of me?" I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Yeah, like that was going to happen! Not in this lifetime. I really hope he didn't mean it and I don't think he did.
I later steered him towards Fran. The last I saw them they were enjoying each other. She did tell me once that he wasn't "the one" but he'd do for now. I think, but I could be wrong that most females in the beginning of their time in the military are not looking for a "forever" anything.
I met a guy whose name and face totally escape me. He was "hot" for me. I was bored and thought, well, maybe a little fling wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like I was saving it for anyone. The probability of me ever getting married was totally zip.
We hung around for awhile but had never really done much other than hug. I don't recall a kiss at all. There may have been one or two and I just don't remember. Isn't it sad when you can't remember if a guy kissed you or not? I wasn't even drinking so I don't have that for an excuse.
It was cold one day and we huddled under this thing to get out of the biting wind. It might have been a different one because I see it in my mind as smaller and lower to the ground.
He was telling me his life story again. He'd told it to me a few times already. He was a Mormon. I thought that was funny but I was careful not to laugh. He told me about his underwear and how it was supposed to protect him. Yeah, I was really buying into that concept.
I was starting to think he was a real nutter, although I hadn't heard that term yet. It just fits. He had told me before this that he wanted to marry me. So had a lot of other guys but none of them really meant it and I was sure he didn't either.
He unfastened his pants, a bold move in that cold wind. I thought, maybe he's going to show me his underwear but I was wrong. He showed me something else. He even asked me if I wanted to touch it. I told him he'd better put it away before it froze and fell off of him. If I was going to do that with a guy it wasn't going to be in fridgid wind, in the open where anyone could walk by. I'm not that adventurous.
Then he actually told me after practically trying to get me to do it with him that he couldn't marry me anyway because he had Morgan horses he had to go home to and a girl his family expected him to marry. To say I was angry is putting it mildly. I was incensed. I couldn't believe what an idiot he was and what a bigger idiot I was for actually thinking he cared for me just a little.
He'd given me a token of his affection as the old romances say. I think it was a bracelet or a locket. It wasn't a ring, I'm sure of that. Whatever it was I took it off and gave it back to him telling him what he could do with it. I think it involved a part of his body we won't mention.
He looked at me, both shocked and offended. I had the temerity to say "no" to him! It was like that was unheard of before. I stomped, literally all the way back to the bay with him begging me to come back and talk to him. Nope, it wasn't happening.
That night I went out with a bunch of the girls and some of their guys to a bar in Petersburg. Me, who didn't drink, got smashed. Before I passed out asleep on the table, I started to cry. I don't even know why I cried over this idiot. I didn't really like him all that much. He was a little fun to begin with but I knew he was not going to be a "forever" guy so what the heck was I blubbering about?
Later, when I sobered up I knew it was because here was another person I wasn't "good enough" for. I grew up not being "good enough." In school, I was always the last one picked to be on a team.