I think of the Hell years.
He wanted me dead.
I wanted to die.
The pain kept me alive.
That and knowing my son needed me.
I used to pray for courage.
The courage to get through the night.
The courage to die.
The courage to live.
I was never quite sure
Which I wanted most.
Relax!
I am not planning my demise.
If the pain of Hell
Did not do me in
Then I can survive this too.
But do I want to?